People not only lie to others but also for their lying. But the conscience to remind us not to lie, which makes us feel the pain. Contrary to conscience and self-deception, the resulting lies innumerable, the most common, but also the most damaging case, appears in the relationship between parents and their children, such as We love their children , and My dad Dad Mom loves me — Perhaps it is true, if not the fact that most people do not want to admit. In my opinion, the so-called psychological treatment, is to encourage the game to tell the truth. The most important task of psychologists is to allow the patient to say the truth. Long self-deception, the accumulation of people39s guilt, it will lead to mental illness. In the honest atmosphere, sick mind will be a gradual recovery. Psychologists must release the soul, open to patients. If the treatment is unable to experience the suffering of the patients, what is the eligibility requirements assume the patient to face the reality of the pain? Doctors to understand themselves and others, in order according to their own experience, for others to provide effective guidance.
Conceal the truth
Conceal the truth
Is usually divided into two kinds of lies white lies and black lies. The so-called black lie, that is, to lie outright, describing the situation is completely at odds with reality the so-called white lies, might be able to reflect the facts of its own, but most of deliberately concealing the truth. To be known as white lies of the title, does not mean that the substance out of lies, and should be pardoned. Government use of inspection system so that people can not understand the truth, is also a white lie — in this case, through the white lies to deceive the public habit of lying to the government better than the government more democratic and enlightened. Patients with a large number of overdrawn bank deposits to conceal the reasons for the treatment of resulting prejudice, and outright lied to as serious. To conceal part of the satin fendi spy bag story, may people think does not matter, white
Lies have become the most common lie this way. In addition, because a white lie is not easy to detect, the harm, or even far more than a black lie.
Difference lies with the black, white lies are often considered to be well-intentioned lies, wearing a do not want to hurt other people39s feelings of the hat, easier access to social tolerance and recognition. While we complain about the lack of good faith between people — such as the parents promise their children often are white lie , but a large number of the lack of substantial white lies, but was considered to be a manifestation of love. Some couples still capable of frank with each other, they can not treat a child with the same attitude. They cover a large number of facts, such as marijuana use, marital discord because of the child39s grandparents and high-handedness and the harbor hatred diagnosed by a doctor, people with serious mental disorders high-risk stock speculation to hide the number of bank deposits is similar to hide … … the truth of the behavior, be considered for the sake of their children, in fact, this kind of protection to no avail. Sooner or later the child will know parents like marijuana, often quarreling their relations are not mom, dad, grandparents, and mother everything nervous father Zuo Gupiao business, costing him get a complete mess. Parents tell white lies is not a child39s protection, but rather the right to deprive their children, so that they can not understand the money, disease, drugs, sex, marriage, parents, grandparents and other aspects of the real situation. Their access is not honest role models , but incomplete honest, frank partial and limited courage. The manner described above to protect children parents may also be from a child39s love, but chose the wrong way. However, most parents have to protect as cover to maintain parental authority, issued a challenge to prevent their children, their subtext is to tell the child Listen, you want something sweet, it should not inquire about adult things. Let us ourselves to solve it, which we all benefit. There are some things you should not know, so you have a sense of security. Mom and Dad abnormal mood, you do not need to know why, so that we can live in peace .
Sometimes, we wish to pursue absolute honesty may be related to the fact that a child in need of protection into conflict. For example, you and your spouse a happy marriage, even divorce because of quarrels emerge read, it is quite common. If the marriage is really a crisis, the child will eventually notice, if not tell them, they will feel the potential threat. If you have an evening of fights could be a second day, the child said Mom and Dad had a fight last night, and the thought of divorce. But you rest assured that we will not do it right now. This, of course the child will be increased by not the necessary burden. Similarly, psychologists in the treatment of early stage, do not easily tell the patient findings, the patient may not be psychologically prepared. In the first year of medical practice, a male patient described to me from a dream, his dream suggests that he may be homosexual anxiety. I To show the professionalism at the same time want to make progress in treatment, they told him Your dream shows that you are worried about that they have homosexual tendencies. Intense fear, he immediately up, followed by three admissions, he does not appear. I have spent considerable effort, plus a little bit of luck, only to convince him to continue treatment. Was carried out in 20 sub-treatment, brought him an unimaginable benefits — even though we did not mention homosexuality later in this topic. His subconscious anxiety does not mean that he consciously prepared to be open to explore with my personal privacy. I observe the conclusion to tell him, for he did not much good, or even a great offensive. I made him lose the courage of treatment, which the doctor is concerned, is entirely a failure.
For those who want to enter the field of high-level political and business people, the restrictive expression of personal opinion, is also very important. Everything outspoken person and can easily be considered to be rebellious boss, or even be regarded as troublemakers , is the organization and collective threat. If you want in an organization or group to play a greater role, the more necessary to pay attention to the views expressed by the time, place and manner. If you want to be in line with the needs of group members, to express their views to be some restraint, rather than arbitrary. In other words, a person should have the option to express their views and ideas. Of course, out of loyalty to the facts of the consideration, we are also eager to speak up one39s mind, rather than concealment, which makes us in a dilemma on the one hand, we fear that loose lips the other hand, we do not want to violate an honest and fair principle, while in between, almost no room for maneuver, it is difficult to achieve ideal balance, it is indeed a difficult challenge.
In their daily interactions, we sometimes open and sometimes will have to suppress the desire to pour out thoughts and feelings. So what to do, or be contrary to the principle of respect for the fact that it? We should follow the following rules First, never tell lies to avoid a black lie. Secondly, we must firmly remember In general, do not tell the whole truth, basically the same as lying have to retain part of the truth, it must be a last resort, and out of the major ethical considerations. Thirdly, it is because of personal selfish desires, for example, satisfy the lust for power, deliberately seek to please their superiors to evade the challenge of revision mind maps, etc., will be part of the story to hide down. Fourth, the only really good for each other39s circumstances can selectively hide parts of the truth. Fifth, do
May be faithful to assess each other39s needs. This is an extremely complex rules, only with love as a starting point, in order to make appropriate judgments and choices. Sixth, the assessment of the needs of others, of the facts is that the other party can help provide us with the facts, so that to obtain spiritual growth. Also remember that, in assessing the use of the fact that other people get to grow the capacity of mind, we are often underestimated and not overestimated this capacity.
To fulfill the above rules, is quite difficult, not perfect work. Many people fear the pain of which they would prefer a limited honesty and openness, which is equivalent to living in a closed state, has never been afraid to come up with maps, with the realities to cf. On the surface, self-isolation is clearly much easier to realize that respect for the truth and facts, their achievement will be well worth the cost. With an open mind, positive efforts, and constantly revised life map, can the soul be growing. Compared with those who are too closed, open and people have a more healthy state of mind and better relationships. They are open, do not have to pay lip service to, so a lot of sadness and worry less. They do not need to cover up past the illusion, do not have to fabricate more lies to cover up past lies. A man more honest, more honest and is easy to maintain, as a lie, the more is to fabricate more lies to justify. Dare to face the fact that people can live in a magnanimous mind between heaven and earth, but fendi also will be able to get rid of conscience, torture and fear of threats.
Balance
Balance
Self-discipline, be hard and complicated work, you need to have enough courage and common sense. You are in pursuit of honesty and responsibility, but also the need to retain some of the facts and truth. You only have to take responsibility, but also should not refuse to take responsibility. To make life standard, efficient, pragmatic, and must learn to postpone satisfaction, we must look farther. Also possible to have a good life now, through due diligence, so that the joy in life than pain. In other words, self-discipline themselves still need special constraints , I call it maintain balance , which is the fourth principle of self-discipline.
Maintain a balance, which means to establish a flexible restraint mechanism. May wish to anger as an example. We have been violated on the psychological or physiological, or that a certain individual, something makes us sad and disappointed, we will feel angry. To obtain a normal life, anger is an essential way to counter it. Never angry people, doomed to suffer life-long humiliation and repression, until they are destroyed and the elimination of. The necessary anger can make us better survival. We have been violated, not necessarily a violation of those hostile to us. Sometimes, even if they are really interested in and to, we should also appropriately constrain emotions, head-on collision can only make the situation even more unfavorable. Brain, senior center — common sense — to be bound by the lower central emotions, reminding the latter Shaoanwuzao. In this complex world, want to fendi handbags make life run smoothly, we not only have the ability to angry, but also have even angry, but also inhibit the ability of its outbreak. We would also be good at in different ways, appropriate expression of angry feelings sometimes euphemism, is sometimes necessary to direct sometimes calm, sometimes you might hit the roof. Expression of anger, but also at the time and occasion. We must build a flexible set of emotional system to improve our emotional intelligence. Youth up to a lot of people, middle age, to master the skills of how angry, it is not surprising. Life those who do not know how angry I suppose is also a large number.